Mood down.
4:20:00 PM
My mood and feeling is like the clouds mix together and separate.
Somehow I feel that I can do it but actually i'm wrong.
I did not be serious in everything I did now.
When I serious to do it and I felt headache ~
Why did I have this kind of feeling?
Before that I do not use a lot of my brain and thinking.
I just want to start of something like that..
I love drawing, but I hate the feeling when I couldn't draw it out nicely.
I'm just keep repeating those mistakes.
I used to be a good artist and now I wanted to be a good designer.
But I just can't get into it.
I can't think of any creative design for my lighting and others..
And yeah, my lecturer just gave me a task..
She gave me a concept too.
And I have to use the concept to join with my topics.
She gave me a concept of ROSE and I have to use my creativity to apply in Rehab Center.
Its slightly hard for me, and I don't really like rehab center though.
Rehab center is for those people who wants to get rid of drugs and more..
So.. i have to very creative thinking now. Aiks.
I did not regret to take this course but I regret to not be smarter.. D:
People just can do something easily and I just stressed with it. Aiks.
My lighting have been rejected by my lecturer.
he said that I have to be more creative in it.
I just created something which is not so amazing or attractive.
A simple light I did but that was the only thing I can thought of that time..
And now he wants us to think of a nice design, a better design, a creative design..
Aiks, my dad sure mad at me.
He is the one who helped me to fix my light bulb and the holder for like an hour.
Now wanted to make a new one is like...
I don't know how to tell my dad now. Ishhh!!
I almost fall in love but I've controlled it.
I wont fall in love with anyone.
Since I have to concentrate on my studies so I just place my Love at the second place. D:
I admit that I'm not a good lover or person which understand love a lot.
I can understand it but I just can't react with it.
AND...
I have a bad feeling when I saw the person.
He is really not my type and I have no idea why did I like him.
I haven't reach the Love stage yet, still in Like stage.
So I decided not to fall in love with him and I don need him to love me too.
I don't want couple but my mind just pop up the image of me and him be together.
It makes me so freaking down when I'm awake.
I don't feel he likes me and he dont even bother about me.
Just hate myself being like this.
I have been emo for like few days because of this.
I couldn't find a best answer why did I like him. ):
I think I'm going back to my secondary time when I fall in love.
That makes me cried a lot.
I don't want to be hurt so I just keep my thing secretly.
And I hope that he wouldn't know anything about it so that I can live better.
I rather be alone but I don't want to lost a friend. (:
I just feel useless now. Not in a good mood too.. ):
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