• Why is it NOTHING good to me?
• Why is it ALL bad to me?
• Why is it so cold?
• Why is it I dont like it?
• Why I cant be like a normal person?
• Why am I thinking so much?
• Why am I demand for so much?

Did I do anything wrong to THE GOD? Why everytime when Im happy, things come bad and sad. I Hate it. I want to be haapy and I just want to get a good things for my family and friends. Why are you joining me? I dont want you to be sad with me. Ofcause I want my friend to be happy, right.

The first time I feel happy after the first time over, I feel disagreeable. To me, I feel you are a good and kind person but why u want to show me that you are not? Do you know I'm a weak girl? I can't stand of these things happen to me. You are such a BASTARD, you know. I told myself, you are good actually but I Hate You. The way you treat me is like I'm a stranger, I want to be the one you know very well. Do you think the way you choose is good to you? I can't chill, when I saw you, I feel that I'm sorry to "PlayBee". You make me do everything wrong, you think is not your fault, but it is! If I'm dead, I hope that you are the first one save me in my life. Will you? I don't think you will be the first one because You Are Afraid, you will think that He will help me, although you help me at last sure break your OWN friendship. Is it right? I know you very well and very well. I really Love you but I cant. Why can't you give me a chance to tell you everything? Why are you smiling at me everytime? Now Im not single anymore, but if you stay like this I will fall in love with you. I Hate You. Is you, is you make me no more freedom, your heart is controlling me!!!!!!! *sigh* Now, I can't accept LOVE to live in mylife. You make me hurts everyone everytime while you are not with me. I hate you until you die. If I can, I want to kill by my hands!!!! Im evil I know, this is how you make me leave without you.

I really feel appologize to "PlayBee". I'm not a bad girl, you should know. I love to play, but i dint play the feeling with you. It just the feel gone easily. I always tell myself to tell you the truth but I don't dare, "L's lover" told me the same thing but I really afraid to tell you the truth. I'm very shy when I'm in love. I know you can leave everything and do the things I want for me but I feel sorry when you did it. Whenever you want to go I will say No, I want you to be good as how the GOD treat you. I know you are luckily because you met me in your life. But, for me I dont is luckily, another way is badluck. I hope you are not reading my blog here. If u saw it read it, I really don't dare to stand in front of you anymore. You should know who Im talking about. Be smart larh.

Ok, now I want be stronger. I dont want to think too much of it. I need to concentrate study and be a good girl like what my family want to be.

Happy, Be happy, Stay Happy, Live with Happy life....

this is all what I want to say today.

10.00p.m.